Deep inside of me
by vrbinkaCZ
Summary: Oh, I don´t know. Just read it and don´t forget to review :o HM romance. The LAST chapter is here. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Deep inside of me

**Disclaimer**: Not mine, never will be. JAG belongs to CBS and DPB and Paramount too.

**Rating**: T

A/N: I kind of borrowed this idea, but it went out completely different in the end so… Feedback is highly appreciated. Thanks

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„I´m keeping you deep inside of me, I´m thinking of you".

**WASHINGTON D.C.**

Autumn is beautiful in Virginia. Reds and golds are visible everywhere, vibrant and full of life. That year, the city was alive and bustling with energy during the last few weeks of warm weather. On the outside. If you looked closer, there were only cold stormy days ahead.

**Mac´s apartment, 04:28 AM**

He woke up very slowly to still darken night. The wind was singing some kind of a song and the shadows danced against the walls od the apartment. It was not his apartment. Slightly he stretched out when he felt warmth, body warmth from a woman laying next to him. The woman was fast asleep if her steady breathing meant anything. He quickly sat up and looked at her. Then he remembered everything… her laughter, her body language, smooth skin, chocolate eyes, how her body fit with his…, her tattoo. He had to smile at that. He had seen it, finally. Suddenly he panicked. What if she regreted what happened, what if this kills their friendship. He was scared. Scared that he would hurt her or worse, that he already did. It was clear to him what he has to do. Slowly he stood up and tried to find his clothes scattered all over the apartment. He found his boxers at her side of the bed. She looked so peacefull, fragile. She was so beautiful, like an angel. He watched her for a while, her steady breathing, her lips, her closed eyes. Then he stood up and dressed. He took out his keys, opened the door and closed them behind him with a light click. She stirred a little but didn´t wake up. Then he locked the doors and left.

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She was going to be late. Sarah Mackenzie was speeding on the streets of Washington clearly lost in thoughts.

**Flashback**: _Mac slowly awaked ans stretched. Then she remembered the events of previous night and quickly looked on her right side. She frowned and slowly got up with the sheets around her._

„_Harm?" nothing happened. She looked at the rumpled side of her bed. She could still smell him there. Then she went to the kitchen._

„_Harm?" this time a little bit more faithfully. He didn´t answered. How could he when he was not here. She knew it but still had to be sure. He didn´t left a note or anything so she strated to worry._

**End of Flashback**

Counting every minute and glancing at the speedometer every now and then, Mac prayed that the admiral would be in a good mood today. Then she looked at the passenger side of her Vette and saw his watch. He had left them on her nightstand. He just probably forgot them there or he left them there for a reason? She didn´t know what does it mean, she just hoped he had an early meeting and forgot to leave a note but there was this possibility that he regreted what happened between them last night but she refused to think about it.

So she pulled up at the parking lot, took a few deep breaths and went to work. When she stepped out of the elevator, she watched the normal buzz at the place she loved most. Then she found him, sitting behind his desk, already working. She wanted to talk to him, but she was scared so she rather left for her office only to turn around heading for the breakroom for very strong coffee. She would certainly need it.

**Meanwhile in Harm´s office**

Harm watched her all the time. When she stepped out of the elevator and looked through the doors, but when she looked at him he acted like a coward and buried himself in files. And then, when she walked back from the breakroom and didn´t come into his office and didn´t even look at him he was sure she regreted their night together and was determined to pretend. He would say he regret it too even if it broke his heart. When he was about to go to her office she appeared at his doorway, looking slightly nervous but her eyes didn´t show anything.

„Hi"

„Hello Harm" her voice was distant.

„You left these on my nightstand" Mac handed him the watches. Their hand touched a little, both of them snatched their hands away.

„Oh, I´m sorry I totally forgot about them". Harm xamined them like he had seen them for the first time.

„You don´t have to apologize, after all it was me who wanted them down". He smiled a little after that but didn´t say anything.

„Harm"

„Mac, I…" they said it at the same time.

Mac started to say something again but he stopped her.

„No Mac, let me go first".

She looked confused but agreed.

„Please sit down". So she did.

He was looking out of the window for a while but then he looked into her eyes and she knew that whatever he was going to say would change her life forever.

„We are friends for a few years now and I really value our fiendship".

„Yeah me too, but…"

„No, let me finish this please".

„Okay"

He looked her straight in the eyes and said:

„I think that last night was…a mistake" He winced at the sound of it, but she didn´t see it, she kept looking past him out of the window, she couldn´t move, just kept staring at something in the distance.

„We were both…" He talked and talked about the reasons why they couldn´t be together but he doubted she had heard a word he said. After a while:

„You want something to add?"

She jerked her head at him and said:

„NO, no I think we are all set." Then she got up and quickly walked out of his office. Harm sighed and turned around. There were hundred of files awaiting him. He sat down behind his desk, hands on his face, thinking, that he made his biggest mistake today.

Mac hurried to the ladies room, locked herself in one stall and colapsed to the ground. Silent tears streamed down her face.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

See part one for important information.

A/N: Special thanks to everyone who reviewed. **THANK YOU**.

A/N2: You know, I´m really good girl because I´m updating sooo fast. Lol

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„Colour fades away with a light descending on the day"

**JAG HQ, FALLSCHURCH, VA** (about a month later)

„Rabb, Mackenzie! My office now!" These five words were starting to be on daily basis. They will fight with each other, then go to the admiral´s office. After a while they would get out and storm into their respective offices and then it would start again.

This time was just like that. They stood at attention waiting for the admiral to start yelling or whatever he had planned for them this time.

„What was that all about?" the admiral was pissed. They didin´t say a word. The admiral stood right in front of Harm.

„So?"

„Ugh, sir… we disagreed on a case".

„Ok, fine, whatever. This is pointless. Colonel?"

„Yes sir?" He looked straight at her.

„Get out of here".

„Yes sir".

Both men watched Mac leave the room. When she left, the admiral focused on Harm.

„So, spill it. What´s going on? You two fight with each other, that´s absolutely normal, but not like this". Silence.

„Commander!"

„Sir?" Harm played dumb, rather to be safe than sorry.

„Okay, if you don´t want to talk about it then don´t, but if I´ll hear something like that once again I´ll send you to Alaska defend the polar bears. Is that clear?"

„Crystal sir". The admiral glared at him.

„Dismissed".

„Yes sir". Then he retreated into his office.

The admiral just sighed and buzzed the intercom.

„Tiner! Get me an aspirin". Then he sat behind his desk and looked at the papers on it and sighed again.

„What a day".

**Mac´s apartment, Georgetown**

Mac sat on her couch, wrapped in a blanket, mug filled with hot chocolate in her hands. She watched the fire creaking in the fireplace, thinking about what happened today.

She was mad at Harm, he had once againd done something stupid and they fought over it. They seemed to fight with each other way too often. Their co-workers noticed it too. Bud and Harriet came sometimes, wanting to talk or to find out what´s going on with her and Harm. It was all screwed up, their relationship, friendship destroyed and her heart in thousands tiny pieces. She started thinking about transfering or even resigning right then, but she didn´t think she could actually do it. Leave everything behind, her work, her friends, Harm, hell she even liked the weather in Washington. Mac was having hard time accepting it, she wanted Harm´s friendship back.

And just like that, she was determined to resolve this right now. So she took her keys and left the building.

**Mac´s POV**

I don´t know why I didn´t go straight to Harm´s apartment, instead I drove around for a while, still in a haze. I wondered how my life had gotten so messed up.

I finally stopped the car and looked around. Lost in thought, I had steered myself across town to a seedy bar. I could almost hear the vodka calling to me, beckoning for a taste. Just one drink. I wanted one so badly. Just one.

I hesitated only a few seconds before deciding not to go inside. But those few seconds were all it took. A flash of movement caught my eye. Two men were arguing outside the bar. Another man stepped out of the shadows and joined the argument. I was about to turn the car on and drive away when the first man pulled out a gun. He aimed it point blank at the second man's head and shot him. It all happened so fast. The sound of the gunshot startled me, and I turned the key in the ignition. The engine's soft purr surprised the men and they looked up. I froze as the shooter looked right at me. I quickly put the car in drive and floored the pedal, speeding past them. I got a good glimpse of the shooter as I bathed him in the light from my beams. It was a face I knew I would never forget.

As I sped away from the crime scene, my mind was racing. I knew I should go to the police, but I was sure the men had seen my face, possibly my license plate. It was only a matter of time before they found out who I was and where I lived. I couldn't go home. So I went to the only place I could.

**Harm´s apartment, North of Union station**

Harm had his lights out, remains from his dinner take-out on the counter, just one candle was lit up and illuminated just a small place around the coffee table. Harm was playing his guitar and watched the view from his window.

Suddenly a small red car, to him very familiar, drove to the parking lot nera his building. After a minute finding a parkplace right next to the entrance. He was curious about why is she here and what could she want from him, but when she didn´t leave the car for twenty minutes he was worried. In a second he had his shoes on and was on his way out.

It was raining a little and Mac studied the raindrops falling on the windshield. After a while she was startled by tap on her window. When she looked up she saw Harm standing there so she rolled the car window down. She looked so lost.

„Come on up Mac, what are you doing here at this hour?" Mac just kept looking at him and said:

„I can´t". He knew better than to push her so he opened the other door and sat down next to her. The silence was killing him.

„Sarah?" when she looked at him

„Tell me what happened".

„Mac, you know you can talk to me. Sarah?" He laid his hand on her cheek. One tear escaped from her eye and made it´s way to her lips, but Harm was quicker and kissed her on the spot where the tear was right then.

„Just hold me please".

„I´m here" So he hugged her as much as he could in that small car. He stroked her hair, whispering

„It´s going to be ok. Mac, you can tell me anything". And so she told him.

„I just witnessed a murder".

Harm was suddenly very alert. His eyes widened in shock.

„Are you okay?" he asked urgently, looking her over for scratches and cuts.

„I´m fine. I was in my car".

**Harm´s apartment, North of Union Station**

Mac was sitting on the couch, hands entwined because only that way Harm couldn´t see how her hands were shaking. Harm came back from kitchen with coffee which he put right in front of her.

„You have to go to the police station". She took a deep breath to calm herself.

„I don´t want to go down to the station" she said, pleading.

"I'll ask if an officer will come over. You don't have to do anything you don't want to." She nodded.

The police came shortly after the phone call. Mac described what she had seen once again and gave them a clear description of the man she had seen.

"I didn't see the second man very well. I just remember he was tall and had a beard," Mac explained.

"That's okay, as long as we have a good description of the shooter," Officer Hayes said.

"If you remember anything else, you can give us a call." She nodded. Mac gave them her phone number at home and work, and Harm's as well, in case they needed to contact her. Harm shut the door behind them, then came back to the couch and sat beside her.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently.

"Yeah," she replied quickly, not really meaning it.

"I'm just tired that´s all. It's been a long day."

"Why don't you stay here tonight," Harm suggested. "I'll take the couch".

"Thank you," she said with a small smile.

"You're welcome," he replied, smiling back.

"Good night, Mac."

"Good night, Harm."

**THE FOLLOWING MORNING**

Harm and Mac showed up at work together. They tried not to let the previous night change anything and it seemed to work. The morning went very smoothly, including a meeting with the Admiral to give him her notice. Surprisingly the admiral already knew what happened last night and was very supportive.

She was not pleased with the fact that Harm already told him, but she didin´t want to fight with him so she avoided him instead. He noticed it though, but didn´t say anything.

"Good afternoon, Colonel MacKenzie."

She looked up as Officers Hayes and Grinner entered her office.

Immediately, her heart started racing. What could possibly be wrong now? She wondered.

"Good afternoon, Officers. "What can I do for you?"

They exchanged a glance. "Can we speak to you someplace private, Colonel?" Hayes asked.

"I was just about to go to lunch, but I can spare a few minutes."

She led them to the conference room where she discovered another surprise.

"Webb!"

"Hello, Mac. Thanks for joining us. Have a seat."

TBC

* * *

So? What do you say?

**Writingmom** – Oh don´t worry, he would be begging, but not that soon.

**AB** – in the end it would be one big happily ever after (maybe :o)

**Daisymh** – so here is more, tell me what you think!

**Nix707** – Hi! I really appreciate that you reviewed. So what do you say so far Author?

**Dansingwolf** – yeah, they were idiots all the time, so why change it!

**Snugglebug** – here is the new chapter! By the way I love your name.

**Lisa** – one chapter right here.

**Froggy0319** – I´m posting, trying very hard to do so!

**Jamie** – belive it or not he said it! (well I had him to said it, he had no choice you know).

**Erniempr11** – thank you, it really means a lot to me. I´m trying, I´m trying.


	3. Chapter 3

See part one for important information.

A/N: Special thanks to everyone who reviewed. **THANK YOU**.

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„We got to keep this world together, got to keep it moving straight"**JAG HQ, FALLS CHURCH VA**

„Okay Webb, what do you want?"

„Nice to see you too Mac". She was mad now.

„Oh, get it over with and let me work". By now she noticed another man in the room. She studied him for a while.

„This is agent Lewis", they shook hands and then all of them sat down.

„He is one of yours?" Mac asked about the agent.

„No, I´m from FBI". Surprise evident in Mac´s face.

„FBI? What is the FBI doing here, cooperating with CIA and the local police?" she wondered.

It was Webb who spoke.

„We´re all here because of the murder you saw last night. We think that you saw this man, Marco Lopez", he handed her the photo.

„This guy is an suspected assassin. He usually works for a man named Rodruguez and this one is very dangerous. CIA has been after him for years, but we can´t prove anything. Your testimony will put them both into prison. We need you Mac". She started to get nervous. She didn´t like any of this.

She was used to Clay's usual shocking revelations, but somehow she knew they were asking for much more than just her testimony.

„Okay, and what exactly do you want me to do?"

„Witness protection". Mac was shocked.

„We want you to be safe".

„I know we are asking you to give up your life, but it´s the only way. You can take some time if you want".

So many thoughts were flying through her head. Her screwed up relationship with Harm, her life in general, her job. The government was offering her a new life, a fresh start. She could move on.

„No, no it´s okay. I´ll do it". Webb was shocked, the other men in the room just confused, curious and surprised.

„Are you sure?"

„Yeah" that didn´t sound much persuasively. „And how am I supposed to dissapear?"

„Easilly, we transfer you to London".

„I would go to London?" Mac asked

„No, but everyone would think you did".

„You can´t stay in contact with anyone".

„When?"

„Well, we thought it over. You´ll take two weeks leave and in the meantime the transfering papers would get in. The Admiral won´t have a chance to do anything about it. He will have to let you go. So would everyone else".

„Oh, okay. Where am I really going?"

„That´s need to know and you don´t rigt now". Mac glared at Webb who quickly stood up and left. The othes followed him and walked away with a short goodbye.

**JAG HQ, FALLS CHURCH VA**

**Harm´s POV**

She was gone. Gone for three weeks now. I´m counting every minute and hoping she will walk through that damn doors I keep staring at, with a smile on her face, telling me it is just a dream, that she would never leave me.

She got transfered to London. I know it since Monday. Everyone was shocked and I think the Admiral didn´t knew about it too. How could she do this to me?

Every damn morning I look at her closed office, every day I expect her to be in the breakroom, making this really bad coffee. God she was so beautiful. How can I live without her…

The day Mac left was the day when my life changed forever. I´m working just like I should, but I plow through my work mechanically, locking myself in my office and ignoring everyone. Admiral Chegwidden knocked once to check on me, but I assured him I was okay and he left me alone. It is always long after everyone else had gone home that I finally turn off the computer and call it a day.

**SOMEWHERE NEAR SAN JOSE, CA **(two years later)

**Mac´s POV**

I always wanted to live near the ocean, on the beach. Right now I´m looking straight into this big amazing sea. Blue and white, sometimes calm, sometimes stormy and rough. Just like me.

Sometimes when I´m alone I keep looking, watching the waves, trying to hear what the ocean has to say, remembering my past, think back how my life always seemed to take sudden turns, like I´m spinnig a little bit too fast, too soon.

I´m thinking about him. What is he doing now, if he is happy. Everytime I wake up in the morning, everytime I´m going to my bed or when I look at the sky I always see him soar above the sky in his bi-plane, in Sarah. And every morning I briefly wonder what would happen if I ever returned to JAG. Then I would force myself to forget about it and start the day Harm-free. Oh how I miss him.

„Mommy?" I turn around and I see my little girl walking, okay trying to walk towards me.

„Honey, what are you doing up at this hour?" I take her in my arms, I´m clinging to her.

„can´t sleep". She is so small, so fragile. I have to figure out how can she get out of her crib, it´s unbelievable.

„Oh, I can help you with that. Do you want me to read you a story?"

„Yeah, please". I take her to her bed and watch her lie down with her beloved toy. I start reading something about a lamb, but she is asleep in a few minutes. She is just over a year old but you can already see that she looks just like him. Her piercing blue eyes, dark brown hair, they are a little bit curly, her smile. I love her.

The telephone rang a few minutes later. It was my neighbor Carol.

"Hi, Carol, what's up?" I answered cheerfully.

"Hi Liz, I just wanted to see if you and Jasmine are still coming over for lunch tommorow. I really want to try this new recipe!"

Her enthusiasm was contagious. A bubbly blonde in her early 30's, Carol Swensen had a warmth that could make the sun shine brighter on the coldest day. She was one of few close friends I had made over the previous two years. She helped me get through my pregnancy. Without her, I'm not sure I could have survived this long.

"Of course we'll be there!" I exclaimed, smiling.

"Good. I need someone to test it and you're the only one I trust!"

I laughed

"We'll see you tommorow!"

I hung up the phone and looked at Jasmine. She was sleeping peacefuly so I decided I´d go to bed early too.

What I didn´t know was that my life takes another twist the next day.

TBC

* * *

**Froggy0319** – thanks. Do you like twists? Here you got another one… or two :o)

**Daisymh** – you don´t have to thank me, I love writing it!

**Nix707** – thank you. You know I´m too waiting not so patiently for your next chapter . . .lol

**The Obsessed three** – you´ll never know what happens next!

**Jamie** – I´m glad you like it.

**Mckesha** – is this soon enough?

**Dansingwolf** – Yeah, thank you! I wanted to throw some new faces into it so…and I love Webb (not in season 9 lol). I hope you liked this chapter too.

**Snugglebug** – well he would if I let him lol.


	4. Chapter 4

„The point of no return. There is nothing left to reach."

**SOMEWHERE NEAR SAN JOSE, CA**

"Come on, Jasmine," I said, pulling her from her crib. It was a beautiful day outside and I wanted to take a walk in the park before going to Carol´s.

We walked (okay, I walked, Jasmine was asleep in her stroller) just few minutes when the small park appeared before us. There were just few of them, but it suited me just fine. There were many people with kids that day. Jasmine was happily playing with some boy in sandbox when something catched my eye.

There was a man a few yards away. He was holding up a picture and talking to a woman I didn´t know.

"Have you seen this woman? She may go by the name Elizabeth Connor."

I had to think and do it fast. I turned around so he couldn´t see me, grabed Jasmine from the sandbox she was playing in. She was fussing a little bit but I was really scared. The quicker we left, the quicker I could pack and get out of town. It was only time before the man found someone I knew and discovered where I lived.

But I didn´t know what to do with Jasmine. I could not take her with me. What if they found me, no that can´t happen. Carol would have to watch her, while I gather some things. I rang her doorbell and tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for her to answer.

"Liz, hi! I thought you weren't coming until later?"

"Carol, I need your help. I need you to watch Jasmine for a few days, maybe longer." Carol was puzzled.

"Sure. What's going on?"

"I really can't talk about it. I'm in some trouble and I have to go out of town. That's all I can tell you." Carol looked frightened, but she nodded. I handed Jasmine over to her.

"I'm going to go pack a few things and gather Jasmine´s clothes and toys. Do you think you could stay at your mother's for a few days?"

"I'll call her right now." She asked no more questions. I knew I could trust her to take good care of my daughter.

Clay had promised me that his agents were keeping watch on me every second, but you could never be sure. After two years, security was probably very lax.

At Carol's I said goodbye to my daughter. I tried to be cheerful as I told her I was going away.

"I promise I'll be back very soon, sweetie. It's only a few days." I wasn't sure she even understood. She just smiled and gave me a hug. I hugged her tight.

As I stood, my eyes locked with Carol's and she gave me a small smile.

"Good luck, Elizabeth, whatever the problem is. Don't you worry about Jess, I'll take good care of her."

"Thank you. For everything. You'll never know how much you've done for me."

With one last look at Jasmine, I pulled the door shut behind me and jumped into the car. I didn't know where I was going, all I knew was I had to get there fast.

**A HIGHWAY IN THE WESTCOAST**

I have been driving straight for six hours and didn´t go anywhere. I´m starting to get frustrated. I quickly glance at the map I brought at some gas station. Bad idea, I know but I didn´t have a choice. I just hope they never find me, or not before Webb finds them.

I decided I had to take a break, I have to think about where I´d go next. I passed Santa Fe about a hour ago, so maybe I head to Denver or Texas. I may better change direction completely, it would be harder for them to find me. How about Canada?

* * *

Driving is really not my hobby. I´m ready to pass out from exhaustion. I need to find some motel and lie down for a while, maybe two hours, the less the better.

Oh great, it started to rain.

The rain falls hard on my windshield. It's difficult enough to see on this dark highway and the rain only makes it worse. I've been driving for 13 hours, thirty-nine minutes and 20 seconds. The road is empty in front of me. Who else would be crazy enough to be driving this late at night?

Finally I found a motel. Very nice place if you´re very modest. I am right now. There's one available room and I quickly head upstairs. I crawl straight into bed without undressing. I will only sleep a few hours. I've got to get back on the road soon.

I awoke with a start. I quickly stood up and look around. Lightning flashes through the window as I reach for the keys. The rain is only falling harder, but I have to get back on the road. I can't let them find me.

I stand and turn quickly in time to see a man in the doorway. He holds a gun and points it at my face. As lightning flashes again, I see that he is the same man from the park. He takes a few steps into the room and another man appears behind him. He steps inside and the man with the gun orders him to grab me.

Why haven't they shot me yet? I pray a silent prayer and wait.

A few moments later, everything goes black.

TBC

* * *

I know, it´s short, but I wanted to cut it in here so I will be nice and try to post the next chapter tommorow or … the day after lol.

**Dansingwolf** – thanks, she did think about it. She did it because she didn´t have anything to loose. She thought that with Harm it was all screwed up and she couldn´t fix it and seeing him almost everyday would be too painfull, so she took the offer… When will Harm find out, umm, wait another two or three chapters lol. And Liz? Find out a name for Mac was really hard, I had a few of them but Elizabeth suited me the best, I hope it´s o.k.

**Froggy0319** – thank you! I will bring them together, don´t worry just wait for a while!

**Nix707** – Thank you, I had this idea on my mind for too long, I just had to make her go for it somehow. Jasmine is really her daughter and you know who the father is lol!

**Jamie** – He didn´t try to get in touch with her because he thought that Mac asked for the transfer mainly because she didn´t want to see him anymore. Another chapter is here and Thank you!

**Anothershipper** – yeah you can if you want. Here is another one just for you lol.

**Jazzy** – is this fast enough?

**Abigaile** – you´re right, this is not good, but it all gets better lol.

**Snugglebug** – thank you. Don´t worry, they will be together!

**Starryeyes10** – thank you.


	5. Chapter 5

„As a picture with words left unspoken are you wondering who you are".

**SAN DIEGO HOSPITAL**

Someone is calling my name. It's all hazy and I can't seem to find my

way out. I hear my name again, then low voices. A slow, steady beeping forces me further awake. Finally, I can open my eyes.

Someone is here but I can´t see his face really good.

„Harm" I tried, I had to but I don´t think it´s him, or is it. Oh don´t let it be him.

„Not quite" he laughs and now I know it´s not Harm, it´s Clayton Webb.

I finally realize that I'm in the hospital. The annoying beeping is the sound of my own pulse.

„Webb"

„Yeah, I´m happy you didn´t lost your memory. Do you remember what happened?" Ugh, I try searching through my memory but I can´t find anything relevant.

„Would you do me a favor and refresh my memory?" I try to smile but it really hurts. They had to hit me a few times in the face. I think I won´t want to look in the mirror for a while. I just hope it´s not permanent.

Webb sits down in the chair beside my table. I look at his clothes

and realize that he slept in the hospital. God how long I have been here?

"You were attacked. The men who were after you were about to drive away with you in the backseat when my agents arrived. They had knocked you unconscious and dragged you out to the car, attempting to kidnap you, probably rape you, before they killed you," he answers matter-of-factly.

"Jasmine!" I exclaim suddenly. I try to sit up, but Clay pushes me

back.

"She's fine, Mac, just fine. She's with Carol and a couple of our agents. As soon as we realized you took off, I sent them over to her house."

I close my eyes and breathe in relief, thank god I didn´t drag her with me. I don´t want to even think about what would they do to her.

„And what about me?"

„Well, you have a mild concussion, some scratches and bruises but other than that you´re okay" he replies.

"That's not what I meant," I return, looking straight into his eyes.

"It's all over."

"Are you sure?" He takes my hand and looks at me.

"Trust me, Mac. It's over. You won't have to worry about anything anymore."

I study his eyes and nod, believing him. "So what happens now?"

Webb shrugs. "That's up to you. You can go back to being Elizabeth

Connor, or you can go back to your old life. You can be Sarah

MacKenzie again. It's your choice." He turns to go.

"Webb?"

Clay turns. "He knows nothing. I won't say a word. That, too, is your

choice."

I continue to stare at the door long after it swings shut behind him.

I have a tough decision to make. I don't know if I can go back. I

don't know if I can live with myself if I decide not to go back. I want

to see him, to return to JAG, but I'm afraid of what I'll find if I

do. I close my eyes and choose not to think about it yet. I'll take

some time. Clear my head. Yes, that's what I'll do. Take some time to clear my head.

TBC

You didn´t expect that now did you? I´m not good at writing action, so I saved you from reading it. I tried it, that was BAD. I know, this was really really short, but I swear, the next one will be much longer lol and we´re going into the „Harm´n Mac reunited" part very quickly :o)

**Nix707** – you were the fastest this time lol. Well, now you know what it´s like, so you better start updating very fast lol.

**Macandharmlover** – thanks

**Froggy0319** – don´t bite your nails! Here is the chapter just for you :o)

**Dansingwolf** – yeah, finding a suitable name was realy hard to do, for the baby too. All I could think of was Rose or something in these lines, thank god that part of the story is over. Just two chapter till Harm finds out lol!

**Jamie** – thank you. Harm will find out in about two chapters, just wait and read!


	6. Chapter 6

What happens now that Mac has her life back?

* * *

„When all the lights go down, the truth is all you can see".**SOMEWHERE NEAR SAN JOSE, CA** (two years later) 

It was bright sunny day. I went to the terrace and watched the view. There were two children in the garden, boy and a girl, the girl a little bit older. They were playing with a dog. The boy had a small toy plane. They were all having fun. Suddenly the boy glanced in my direction and when he saw me he waved and called:

„Mommy! Come on, play with us!" and so I did. Just then I heard that annoying sound of beeping. I slowly woke up and groaned. It was just a dream.

The sun shines bright through the curtains and into my room. I pull the covers over my head, blocking the glare from my eyes.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom where I started my everyday routine. I had to take Jasmine to day care before hitting the grocery store. I had a light shedule today, just one meeting this afternoon and then about two hours in my office doing paperwork or I could take it home like I always do.

It had been two months since my release from the hospital in San Diego. I went back to San Jose to get Jasmine and never found the courage to return to Virginia, back to JAG. There would be too many questions, many of which I didn't want to answer. I convinced myself that it would be better for Jasmine if we never set foot in Virginia again.

Besides, I was Elizabeth Connor now. I liked my life. As far as I was concerned, Sarah MacKenzie died 4 years ago when she walked out of JAG Headquarters.

**JAG HQ, FALLSCHURCH VA**

**Harm´s POV**

Oh crap. I´m late again. The Admiral is going to kick my ass. I´m walking to the conference room. As I enter everyone is watching me like I´m some freak. Thank god the Admiral is not here yet so I sit down in my usuall place and take a few calming breaths. Then the Admiral walks in and everyone rises from their respective seats.

„As you were" says the Admiral in a very grumpy tone. On his tail is Tiner with about hundred case files. Everyone is trying not to look so hopeless but I´m failing miserably when the Admiral takes these files and gives me every one of them. Thank you very much.

„You´re late, it´s third time in a row". And because of it I have to take all these damn files?

„You´re better not late again anytime soon". He is looking at me as to make a point. Did I said that I hate this day whatever day it is? Bad day.

The Admiral already dished out all of the remaining case files. In his hands is one more case. He is watching the people sitting around the table. Then he looks into the file and then at me. I don´t like this.

„You can have this one too". I swear, he is laughing at me, this is not possible.

„Sir? Doesn´t the commander have too much cases already?" oh, Bud is asking for trouble.

„You don´t have enough work lieutenant?"

„Er, yes sir"

„Then start working on them".

„Aye aye sir" too much for saving one poor man today. The Admiral is vissibly pleased with himself.

„So, back to work people", and so he is gone, Tiner back on his tail.

Once in my office I start to go through the files when one of them catches my eye. It´s the last one the Admiral gave me. I quickly scan the first page. It requires a trip to California. Well that´s not bad idea, I didn´t visit my mom in about a year or so.

**SAN DIEGO**

I spend four endless hours interviewing a witness. The only thing I got out of it was that I have to talk to someone else. If I wanted to win this case I had to drive two hours to San Jose because of a possible character witness, but I had to talk her into it. It was a woman, Elizabeth Connor, a lawyer. Great, just great. And she didn´t take my calls. I hope she would be on the adress that stupid idiot gave me or I shoot myself right in the middle of the street. Another bad day, but I think I have too much of them already. Thank god I´m here.

I pull up in the parking lot and turn off the engine. I slowly climb out of my car and lock it. The wind blows gently, sending a chill through my spine.

I quickly scan the building. I don´t think I can find one office in there, I´d be happy to find the right floor…maybe in a week. Another breeze stirs the trees around and causes me to shiver. Well, I got to start somewhere.

Unbelievable. I found it, it wasn´t that hard as I thought it would be. She has her office on third floor. I knock on the door and wait. Nothing. I try it again and after a while someone calls:

„You can go in, you know". Okay.

„Good morning" a woman says. She is smiling, examining me in my uniform.

„Hello, my name is Commander Harmon Rabb, I´m looking for Elizabeth Connor".

„I´m Nancy, her secretary".

„Nice to meet you". An officer and a gentleman.

„I´m sorry, but she is in court right now, but she should be here in half a hour, because she has a meeting, if you want to wait. You can sit down". She is pointing at a two chairs by the window. She is flirting with me or what?

„Okay, I´ll wait, thank you".

„Coffee or something?" this has to hurt, she is smiling all this time I´m here.

„No, thank you".

**Mac´s POV**

I was in court all morning, but Judge Stevens had just granted my clients legal custody of a nine year-old girl named Melanie. The young couple had been foster parents for several years when a man claiming to be the girl's biological father returned and attempted to gain custody. It was a long and difficult battle, but the end result was worth it. Beth and Nick Thompson were going to be great parents.

I´m beat and it is just the afternoon. I have to change my clothes, take Jasmine out from daycare, go to the grocery store and make dinner. I don´t think I will make it today and it doesn´t stop me from thinking about him. Today I can't seem to get Harm off my mind. In the shower, at breakfast, in the car while driving, in court…

As I enter my office and look around for Nancy I stop cold in my tracks.

**TBC**

* * *

I´m evil you know lol.

**Snugglebug** – thank you. Just wait for the next chapter!

**Jaka** – sure thing.

**MarineJAG** – yeah I´m trying, thank you. Update is here, so what do you say?

**Nix707** – you should try and post these great chapters of yours faster, you know how the readers (me :o) would be very happy lol! Mac would eventualy go back to being Mac lol.

**Jaggurl** – don´t worry, the next chapter it is.

**Froggy0319** – Well I couldn´t let you do that to yourself you know lol.

**Kitty** – I´m trying really hard to do so!

**Dansingwolf** – this happened in the next one. Now just wait a day or two and your reunion will be here lol. Keep wondering :o)

**JamieAKAaclassyone** – so did you like this chapter?

**Mckesha** – more is here lol.

**Starryeyes10** – thank you.

**Abigaile** – could´ve been nice, but I think I was too much nice you know lol. You should know that you won´t always get what you want :o) Next chapter is the reunion! Wait – read and review lol.


	7. Chapter 7

So here is that long time wanted reunion. Hope you enjoy! Thanks to all who reviewed, it always made my day :o)

* * *

"Tomorrow's rain will wash the stains away, but something in our minds will always stay."

**Mac´s / Liz´s office, SAN JOSE CA**

There he is. He stands only a few feet away from me. How on earth did he found me? I wondered.

Our eyes locked. He did a double take. The shocked expression on his face told me that he had no idea I was even here. That was good for me. My mind shifted into gear as he started towards me.

"Mac?" he asked, in his tone evidently confusion and shock.

"I'm sorry, who?" I returned. After all, my hair was longer and a deep shade of red, and I wore colored contact lenses. He could easily be mistaking me for someone else.

"You're not, Sarah MacKenzie?" Harm asked, studying my face.

"Sorry, you must have me confused with someone else," I replied with a smile, trying to keep my voice steady.

Harm studied me for another minute.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone I knew once. It's just...you look very familiar to me...?"

"Elizabeth Connor," I said, extending my hand. I'm surprised it didn't shake as Harm tentatively reached for it.

"Harmon Rabb," he returned.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Rabb,"

„Commander".

„Oh, sorry what?" nice save.

„I´m commander, in the Navy. I´m a lawyer from the Judge advocate general. I have a few questions for you, if, if you have time, that is."

I had to get him out of here and fast, Nancy is sure wondering what´s going on and I don´t want the entire building to know that here is happening something, whatever the something is.

„I´m sorry I have a meeting and it´s going to take long, but Nancy can make an appointment with you if you want". Nancy is trying to say something but I silence her with a quick glare.

„Oh, but I really need to head back to Washington tommorow morning the latest". I have to get rid of him or he finds out.

„Okay then, you can come in and ask your questions".

Thank god he had just fifteen minutes. Then I really had to go collect Jasmine, of course I didn´t tell him that. He kept watching me all the time, asking those damn questions. I was so nervous and I know he recognized it. I watched hime leave with mixed feelings. I so much wanted to run after him, but that small part of me knew it was not a possibility. I just hope he will let me live my life and would head back to Washington without contacting me again. But we all know Harmon Rabb.

„You know him?" Nancy asked.

„No, he thought I was someone else," I replied shortly.

„Yeah I heard that, but".

„No buts, you don´t have nothing to do? Where is the Johnston´s file?"

I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep that night, but I had to try. All I could see when I closed my eyes was Harm's face…

* * *

I awoke to the sound of the doorbell. I did not want to get up, but the doorbell was persistent. I pulled open the door and gasped.

"Hello, Elizabeth," Harm said. "Or should I say, Colonel MacKenzie."

"How did you know where to find me?" I asked stupidly.

Harm grinned. "It's a small town." I sighed. We stared at each other for a moment in awkward silence.

"I guess I ought to invite you in," I said finally.

I turned around and walked back into the house, Harm following behind me. I sat down in an armchair and pulled my knees to my chest. He sat down on the couch, keeping some distance between us.

„So, why are you here?".

"I could ask you the same thing," he returned. I just stared at him, waiting for him to answer.

„Oh, actually I don´t know. Maybe I wanted to make sure it´s really you or maybe I wanted to know what are you doing here. You moved to London without a word to anyone and I never hear from you again. Next thing I know, I'm on my way to the Westcoast to interview a witness and there you are, just standing in the doorway, looking like you belong here..."

"I just can't figure out how you ended up here, without contacting JAG, or me, at all".

"I've been in Witness Protection," I finally told him quietly. Harm's expression changed quickly from one of curiosity to confusion to understanding. It took him a few seconds to make the connection.

„Oh Mac" he said, „That´s why you left so suddenly", reaching out to me then pulling back. He was afraid to touch me. I nodded.

"Well, it's all in the past now," I said.

Harm opened his mouth to say something, but a different voice rang through the house at the same moment.

"Mommy?"

TBC

* * *

I´m very bad girl, but this is not my fault, you know, it were the other writers – they taught me these damn cliffhangers lol!

**Nix707** – you lazy one! You were the one who taught me these bad cliffhangers! You would have to recover, because you will get only two another chapters lol. Yeah well, I´m too lazy to send reviews lol, but I´ll try to get better at that.

**MarineJAG** – so, liked the interaction? Thank you!

**Laura-Jean** – was that quick enough?

**Cmdrchasenovack** – thank you! So what do you say at their meeting?

**Eagleandrose** – I really like tortures lol.

**Dansingwolf** – yes, yes, yes! Two more years passed, what a long time lol. You´re really good at giving orders. Just two more chapters and we´re at the end…

**Jaggurl **– Evil, I think that it is my middle name from now lol. Don´t worry they already met in this chapter!

**Anita** – thank you! Yes I know what you meant, but Mac just can´t look the same after four years you know lol.

**Lanixlovexnxpainx** – thank you very much, keep reading!

**Abigaile** – reunion! Well, kind of. There will be more in the next chapter! Harm won´t believe…much longer lol.

**Froggy0319** – Yeah, I just had to do it! I swear I won´t make her run.

**Snugglebug** – thank you. You like to torture people just like me lol.

**Deedee** – thank you, I´m fast with updating lol.

**JamieAKAaclassyone** – hey you´re signed! Thank you, so liked what happened?

**KittyX** – thank you!

**S** – this chapter is just for you lol!


	8. Chapter 8

Hi, I decided that I´d be good girl and post part 8 and part 9 together in one, so this is the last chapter. I might write a sequel, but don´t be so sure about it, because I didn´t decide yet. I want to Thank you again for all the support everyone has given me throughout this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the others!

Special thanks to all the reviewers.

„Spending most my nights lost inside your eyes, wondering how can I ever live without you, live without you beside my side".

**SOMEWHERE NEAR SAN JOSE, CA**

Harm could not hide his shock or surprise. I stood quickly, almost

knocking him to the floor. Behind us stood Jasmine, rubbing her eyes

sleepily. I walked to her and lifted her up.

„Good morning honey". I gave her a kiss and then I turned around with her in my arms. I nervously awaited his reaction.

Harm stood in the middle of the living room, still in shock. He tried

to hide it as we came over to him. I looked at Harm and then at Jess

and I smiled.

"Honey, this is a very good friend of mine, Commander Rabb. Can you

say hi?"

"Hi," she said quickly, eyeing Harm cautiously.

I, too, looked at Harm cautiously. "This is Jasmine. My daughter."

Harm smiled down at Jess.

"Hi," he said softly. He glanced at me, and then said:

"I'm a pilot. Do you like airplanes?"

„Daddy!" Jasmine replied, her tiny mouth breaking into a grin. Both Harm and I stood here in shock. Sure I told her about Harm, but I didn´t tell her any names or anything like that. She is smart.

Harm is still in shock. I can hear the wheels turning in his head. I just wait till he starts yelling at me or something, but instead, he just says:

"She's beautiful, Mac. She has your brains," he added, looking at me again.

"That's about all of mine she has," I replied. "The rest is all her father." Especially that grin, I thought.

This is when he became serious.

„When did you found out? Couldn´t you tell me? I assume she is mine, isn´t she?"

Here we go.

„I…I just take her back to her room okay?" He only nodds. I think he is mad at me. I hope he won´t want to take her away from me.

"I'll be right back," I added.

I felt Harm's eyes on me, silently watching me as I walked down the hall to Jasmine's room.

"So?" Harm asked casually as I returned.

„I found out about a month after I have disappeared". I told him quietly.

„So you were two months pregnant then. I thought women find out earlier than that".

„I did not". I wanted him to know that I didn´t lied to him.

„I wouldn´t go if I knew earlier". I looked him straight in the eye and hoped he would believe me. He didn´t say a damn thing.

„She is yours. We can do the paternity test if you´d like". Instead of answering, he spaced out for a while. I wanted to say something when he dropped this on me.

"Come home with me, Sarah," he said, his voice softening. I didn´t know what to do. All I had to do was say yes and all my dreams would come true. The only problem was that I was not sure anymore what those dreams were.

"I don't know if I can," I replied. "So much has changed..."

"I know," Harm replied.

„But" he glanced in the direction of Jasmine´s room.

„I want to get to know her. She…she is my daughter". He smiled at me.

"I'm happy here. Jasmine is happy here. There's no crowds, no stress,

no one judging me. No deadlines or protocol. Besides, D.C. is a

terrible place to raise children. I have to think about what's right

for her."

"Bud and Harriet are managing just fine," Harm argued with me.

„We would manage too" he said and my heart skipped a beat.

„This is different. I'm not the same person than you once knew. I'm not the same jarhead Marine who will take on anyone and anything. I've mellowed, Harm."

"I've changed, too, Mac. We all have. But some things always remain

the same. Everyone misses you. Bud, Harriet, the Admiral, Gunny," he said. He took a quick breath.

"I miss you," he added shyly.

He took a few steps towards me and placed a finger under my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. I whispered his name in warning just before his lips touched mine in a tender kiss. It was difficult to resist the urge to melt right into his arms. But I couldn't just go back to the way things were.

When I didn't respond to the kiss, Harm pulled away reluctantly. I

took a few steps back and shook my head, holding back the tears that

I knew would eventually come.

Harm's expression was one of sadness. He looked as though he wanted

to say something, but he just sighed.

"I'm sorry."

I took another few steps to the door and pulled it slowly open. To my

dismay, Carol stood on the porch, poised to knock. Her face lit up in

surprise and curiosity.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

"No," Harm answered sadly. "I was just leaving."

He paused as he walked out the door.

"This is not goodbye, Sarah."

„I know"

He nodded politely at Carol and then he disappeared down the walk. I turned back to Carol, who stood there, mouth gaping.

"Carol, there's something I need to tell you..."

**Two days later**

For the second time in two days I was awakened by the doorbell. I groaned and pulled an extra pillow over my head. If I ignored it, whoever was there would go away.

After Harm had left the other day, I poured out my story to Carol. I told her everything, the murder, Harm's and my one-night stand. It felt good to tell someone, and I trusted Carol to keep my secret. She reassured me that I had done the right thing, but I knew she didn't truly believe it.

Apparently, neither did I. I was not able to sleep since that day, every night filled with dreams of what could have been. I was tormented by images of Harm's face and the sound of his voice. "Come home with me, Sarah. Come home with me..."

"It's too late now," I said aloud, throwing the covers off. I stumbled down the hall, the persistent sound of the doorbell making me want to scream.

"What's done is done."

I pulled open the door, a bitter remark poised on my lips. To my surprise, there stood Harm, looking gorgeous as usual in khakis and a blue shirt. I don't think he could ever look bad. I sighed and leaned against the door.

"Haven't you ever heard the phrase, at a decent hour?" Harm grinned sheepishly.

"Since when do I ever follow the rules." I couldn't help but smile.

"I thought you went back to D.C."

"I did. Can I come in?" I glanced behind me and closed the door a bit more, blocking his way inside.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I replied softly, my tone guarded.

Disappointment flickered in his eyes for a second, but he was not

discouraged by my refusal. He merely shrugged.

"Then I guess I'll say what I came to say out here."

I gestured at the chairs on the porch and pulled the door shut behind

me so we would not wake Jasmine. I sat down, folded my arms over my chest and looked up at Harm, expecting him to follow. He didn't sit. Instead, he got down on one knee beside me. I laughed nervously and looked the other way.

"I don't believe this," I said into the air.

"Believe it, Mac," Harm answered. I forced myself to look at him as he began to speak.

„I can´t let you go Mac, I just can´t. I've been going crazy without you. Walking away the other day was my biggest mistake. I'm not about to make another one, Mac. You won't escape me that easily."

"So you think that by coming here and pouring out your heart, and

throwing a ring at me, that things will be okay? That we'll just live

happily ever after?" I demanded, my voice trembling. Harm grinned.

"Something like that."

"What about Jasmine?" I asked more gently. "Are you ready for that kind of responsibility?"

"You're not the only one who's changed a lot in the past four years, Mac. I'm truly ready to settle down, buy a house, start a family. But I don't want to do any of those things without you. As for Jasmine," he added, looking deep into my eyes, "she's our daughter. I already love her."

His words touched me like no others ever could. I felt in my heart that he was speaking the truth. It was all I could do not to throw my arms around him and hold him forever.

"I was only home long enough to submit my report to the Admiral and buy a plane ticket back here. And to pick up this."

He reached into his other pocket and pulled out a small, tattered

jewelry box. The hinges squeaked as he opened it, revealing a beautiful ring with 3 small sparkling diamonds. It was his grandmother's. He didn't have to tell me, I felt it.

"You know I love you, Mac. I fell in love with you so long ago I can

barely remember what life was like before we met. Come home with me,

let me take care of you and Jasmine. Marry me, Sarah."

I could only nod. He smiled slowly and slid the ring onto my finger. We embraced tightly, but neither of us shed a tear. There was no longer a reason to cry.

We parted and Harm brushed my tangled hair away from my face. He kissed me then and I knew we were in for the long haul.

The End

**Nix707** – well, hopefuly you´ll read it when you come back lol. Sure, you´re one of them :o)

**Shalimar2** – thank you

**Froggy0319** – so did you liked the Harm´s reaction to his daughter? This is the end so your heart will have to take it lol.

**Jaggurl** – I made this chapter long, did you like it? Thank you!

**Daisymh** – thank you

**Xlovexnpainx** – it´s daughter you know lol.

**MarineJAG** – thank you!

**JamieAKAaclassyone** - I got an account here about a year before I actually started logging in lol.

**Amy** – thank you

**Deedee** – is this soon enough? I´m evil, deal with it lol and thank you!

**Duchovny0901** – I´m soo evil lol. You really squealed! That had to be fun to watch lol! Thank you!

**Dansingwolf** – that´s not true! There are many writers who have better cliffhangers than me! I´m one big evil because I wrapped it up in just one chapter :o) Write more? I don´t know, I have been thinking about a sequel but I don´t think I´ll have enough time after the holidays, so I will také it easy and then you´ll see lol.

**Abigaile** – yes Harm is smart, I wouldn´t let him think that Jasmine is not his lol!

**Snugglebug** – Cliffhangers are a real fun! Thank you.


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